Reverse Psychology
Album Notes

Click on a title for details and/or lyrics
Track Listing
1.The Deprogramming 2.Get My Gun 3.Perspective
4.True Lie 5.Hero 6.Hopeless (featuring Joy Crowers)
7.Resistance 8.Playing With Death 9.Dis(a)pair
10.Blood of a Man 11.Hate
Bonus Tracks
13.Toil and Trouble 14.Get My Gun [Paranoid Remix]
15.Blood of a Man [Heart of Steel Remix]
The Thank You's
Download Reverse Psychology from Payplay
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$7.77 for full album
Buy the CD from CDBaby
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Shipping & Handling


Front Cover

Back Cover

Thanks for helping me get this album finished, released and promoted: glory, Godhead, Joy Crowers, Sabi Kulture, ThorTakeover and M3Printing.

Thanks for providing the lessons, inspiration, encouragement, and opportunities that allowed me to create this album: glory, Mom, Godhead, Mekz One, Dr. Oo, all the Cypher Cats, everyone I've come into contact with at Crimson Moon

1. The Deprogramming

Ahd Child - Music, Vocals
glory - Vocals

2. Get My Gun

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

I need a gun (4x)
I need a gun (4x)

It was early in the morning
I had just rose
I looked out the window
It looked so cold
When I met this girl’s eyes
I felt my heart freeze
I saw one lone tear
Roll down her cheek
She looked pretty young
In her teenage years
From the look on her face
She’d faced most her fears
Her clothes looked like rags
Dirty little scraps
Not fit to be worn
They belonged in the trash
The sun shone bright
Lighting her bad situation
And I felt this burning urge
To try to be her savior
I took one step forward
Then two steps back
Thinking what if she stabs me
To take what I have
Fear froze my steps
When I could have helped out
Maybe we all suffer
Because of our doubts
But if I was strong
Doubt wouldn’t stop my love
I need my gun

I don’t want to run
From what makes me scared
I want to be strong
Overcome my fears
I need to be strong
Spread a message of love
go get my gun

I want to be numb
To the pain that I’m seeing
I wish it was a dream
I could just not believe in
But even if I could close my eyes
I wouldn’t escape the pain that’s mine
I can barely survive
Much less help others
But I’m told that I owe it
To my sisters and brothers
I wish I didn’t know
There was anything wrong
Then me not helping
Wouldn’t be my fault
But my lack of acting
Is just one more sin
That makes it more likely
That I’ll burn in the pit
I’m scared to die
And I’m scared to live
So I’m frozen
Not knowing
How to direct my motion
In every direction I look I see trouble
It’s like the world is in the hands of the devil
If I had a place to go
I would definitely run
But since I don’t
I gotta find a gun


I see blood in my dreams
And when I open my eyes
If I had a gun
It would help me hide
Bang bang
Is the sound of peace
No one does violence
When he’s deceased
I want to flee
From the sky
That reflects these deeds
In the tears that it cries
To fill bloody seas
Maybe I’m just like
All the others
But I won’t go down
And I won’t get smothered
I’ve prayed for help
For some sign of love
To protect me from the world
But I’ve been shunned
My only answer is silence
When I plead for a way
To stop this violence
But now I need nothing
I’ve found my solution
If there is a threat
Then I’m a start shooting
It’s for the sake of love
That I do what I’m doing
My gun in my hand
Stops love from losing


3. Perspective

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

Righteous defender
Burning with anger
Doubt no longer lingers
It’s faded in time
My mind’s very different
My focus got shifted
Life is too cryptic
I stopped trying to get it
I’m now a man of action
No more stagnant
I look at big pictures
Not details and fragments
We are in need
Of a way to get free
From our social machines
They’ve become a disease
I’ve begun planting
The seeds of destruction
Breaking the chain
Of demand and production
No more contemplation
Simple reduction
We need to rebuild
So we first need destruction
Call me angel of darkness
The bringer of ends
Cuz that is the means
To get this shit fixed
It’s been making me sick
Watching us sit
As we’re sinking in
This bottomless pit


As I lay dieing
My eyes red from crying
Tired from trying
I saw my error
I thought like a human
With human emotions
With human weakness
With pointless devotions
I grew too attached
To that which we had
Despite the fact
That I knew it was bad
I wanted to save it
Gradual change
To preserve what we had
But slightly remade
I could not admit
It was rotten to the core
Destined to doom
Bad at the source
Now I’m aware
And I cry no more tears
I just do what is needed
To make the way clear
Fuck sentimental
It is essential
The artist must work with
Both ends of the pencil
Erasing the mistakes
Caused by our species
Call me by name
But which name will you call me

If you saw what I saw
Then you would know what I see
But you saw what you've seen
So you don't know how I feel
If you felt what I've felt
Then you would feel how I feel
But you feel what you feel
So you can't be what I be
If you knew how I am
Then you would understand
But you are how you are
So you swear that I'm bad
But if I was really bad
Then I would do what you expect
But I'm not what you think
You are not in my head

I am what the human species needs
We have grown corrupt and weak
We hold on to our disease for the sake of love
For the sake of love, we know no peace
A change is gonna come, I now know that for fact
Because change is in my hands
I am the only one who has the strength
To mold the destiny of man


I do what I do
And I follow my rules
Cuz I know in my heart
That I must play my part
If you don’t have my faith
There’s no way to explain
I’ve just got this drive
To be the instrument of change
Look at the world
Just open your eyes
It’s all plain as day
There is no disguise
It’s not hard to see
That something’s not right
But try to improve it
And they put up a fight
Man will not listen
To words of wisdom
Masses of humans
Who do not have vision
Yeah, I treat them like children
Herd them like cattle
Remold their whole conscious
Then send them to battle
I have understanding
That most are not given
So I sacrifice lives
For the sake of the living
I take away freedom
To preserve what is free
Peace is war
And war is peace


4. True Lie

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

5. Hero

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

I’ve been travelin all over the world
I learn the same lesson every place I go
One kind of man never finds a home
The hero stands alone
I been north I been south, all across globe
Everyplace I go, it’s the same as home
The hero stands alone
The hero stands alone

I would like to be the man
Who sees wrong and makes right
Who brings light to the night
Who obliterates lies
But I don’t wanna be the dude
Who most folks detest
Left alone all my life
No one to cry when I die
They say no rest for the wicked
But it’s true for the opposite
Inaction’s the best way
To get a life that’s relaxin
And the passionate cats,
The ones that act on their passions
They end up being lonely
Cuz action’s unattractive
Injustice keeps happening
Cuz when you try to change
People fight for their habits
So status quo stays static
I know that its madness
Perhaps my bravery’s lacking
But I can’t deal with the pointing
And I’m so scared of the laughing
So I’m a coward and passive
As I watch time passing
There's a chance for revolution
But I miss all the chances
Am I a part of the problem?
If I’m not part of the solving
Is their something so wrong
With not being strong


A true hero with friends
Is like the best sex
He’s like a camera’s flash
You know the moment won’t last
A hero with true friends
Is like a snake with legs
He’s like a corpse that’s not dead
He’s like a wolf that eats bread
Like a goose with golden eggs
Telling stories while you chase it
Down a yellow brick road
To find the emperors new clothes
Heroes get stripped naked
Even stripped of their faces
So they’re forgotten by time
Ash to ashes to nameless
The position of savior
Stays empty and vacant
Christ came but they slayed him
And the world keeps waiting
And when one more comes
He’ll be done before he’s started
Our suicidal world
Is vicious and heartless
Regardless of intentions
We fight hard against correction
While we sit and wait expecting
Rescue from self destruction
As an outside observer
It makes so nervous
Just to think of sacrificing
Myself for a purpose


And the glory and the stories
Go to those who don’t deserve
The villains in action
False heroes in words
And the few who get recognized
For their epic achievements
Are legends when they die
There’s no love when they need it
Imagine all the heroes
Just waiting to be made
Who become the opposite
When they feel their hearts break
It is far more rewarding
To follow and be lost in
The crowd, you can’t force them
Not to doubt the different
Half of them don’t listen
Don’t pay one bit of attention
And if they did hear a hero
They would crown him with thorns
Pain comes in many forms
And every last one feels wrong
No man can endure
If the pain lasts too long
We have the strength of millions
But that strength goes against
When any man steps up
It’s always man that prevents
Heroes stay unknown
With broken heart and no home
Conflict and rough roads
A hero stands alone


6. Hopeless

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals
Joy Crowers - Vocals

I'm sitting here watching
The sun sinking slowly
I’m sad oh so lonely
This moment so unholy
The sublime should be forced
To continue to persist
To have divine endurance
But alas, it perishes
I cherish the moments
But I’d rather not be hopeless
And by making me hope
That’s how 1 get open
I don’t seek to rise
And I seek not to fall
Motion’s so overrated
Positive brings negative
Imagine a world
Before Pandora existed
On a single dimension
With none of the tension
Yin and yang
Holding no distinction
One holds the whole
No need to strive for completion
I have dreams of days
Preceding dreaming
If the sun was never rising
Then you won’t fear it leaving
But dreaming and fearing
Seem as essential as breathing
If my voice was never silent
You wouldn’t have to hear me screaming

Have mercy on my soul
Make me hopeless
Spare my life the pain
Make me fearless
Take away the tears
Have mercy
I don’t want to live my life
On a whisper of life and death

Did one bite of that apple
Deserve such retribution
That pain had to be made
To define us as human?
Adam and eve
Were first man and first woman
Because they had first disappointment
And first hope for resolution
Is there no absolution
Are our souls so polluted?
Will this last forever
Is our God so ruthless?
I feel like a fusion
Of Sisyphus and Tantalus
But I don’t understand
What we did to deserve this
Siddhartha seemed to get it
But I think he’s just a legend
Cuz how can I get rid of
Intrinsic characteristics
I feel what I feel
And I’ve felt feelings that were better
So desire seems natural
When experience comes together
Maybe we we’re all angels
Divine ones that fell
And now we live lives of devils
Tossed into hell
Well I’ve learned my lesson
Take me back in your arms
Keep me from hoping
Keep me from harm


The taste of ambrosia
Echoes in my memories
The gods give and take
Without feeling empathy
If it’s not full, it’s empty
I’ve seen plenty
I’ve seen lots of money
But I’m familiar with pennies
Ignorance is bliss
And that’s the life I want to live
If I don’t know it exists
Then it can’t be missed
But what can I do
With memories already made
The harder I try
The harder they are to erase
l was gifted with youth
Which precedes growing old
I get that summertime warmth
Before the winter gets cold
I was born into love
But I will depart alone
An immaculate start
Become a tainted soul
I can’t fight the past
And I cannot avoid it
Its effects will last
Until I enter the void
And even in death
I will once have known life
So I fear no release
Even after I die


7. Resistance

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

Why do we insist on being so resistent?
Why don't we just give up?
Give up and give in
Why must we persist in living?
Why must we be so resistant?

I'm not saying we should just give up and die
But what's the point of trying when there's nothing left to try?
I look for new solutions, but there's nothing left to find
Don't you know there's nothing new under the cloud filled sky?
To what god are we praying, and why do we stay waiting
For something to change when there's nothing that's changing?
We go from death and despair to despair and death
And the cycle continues until there's nothing that's left
It's like trying to hold on once you're over the cliff
The last moment of oppurtunity has already been missed
It's pain either way, whether we die or we live
We live with our guilt or die and burn for our sins
We can not avoid the flames
It seems that we're meant for suffering and pain
What if the divine plan's nothing but a game
And we're just here to get hurt and get played?


What's the point of constant attempts
To bring forth life that's only headed for death
Every single good thing has an eventual end
So why even start? There's no need to begin
It seems our pains are in vain, our best hope is to delay
But we'll still meet our fates because they're lying in wait
Why even rise to the bait of the sun when day breaks
It seems that everything we're given is just there to take
I can't take this constant frustration
Watching men lay waste to other men with hate
Seeing women get raped, kids early coming of age
Seeing spread of disease, brothers and sisters with aids
Seeing homless in need next to capital greed
Seeing army men bleed to spill oil on our seas
And this is just a sample of catastrophe that's ample
I cannot resist, it's too much for me to handle.


The truth is simple and plain, I'm so tired and drained
No more stress, I need a rest for my brain
I can feel my heart cry with every ounce of blood it squeezes
And tears on my cheeks are growing more and more frequent
It's so cold in my chest, I feel nothing there beating
This is death while I'm living, I can feel my soul leaving.
I can't rise above what holds me down
I'm drifting without roots but I'm stuck to the ground
I'd love to jump in a car and drive the fuck away
But there's no engine on earth that moves faster than pain
And perhaps I'm insane to just give up on change
No matter how much we change, our destination's the grave
I can barely wait to give up and find peace
I would end it all now but I'm not that brave
So I just drift through my days with hurt spelled on my face
Revolution won't come, it's way too late


8. Playing With Death

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

It's not as easy as it sounds
Knowing what's real
I'm standing, where's the ground
What do I feel
I'm jaded like the stone
I am all on my own
I don't have a home
There's no rest for my bones
This don't mean nothing
Since you stole away the essence
And God is on our side
But I can't find the blessings
I sit and I listen
While you teach me my lessons
Who am I to argue
I am nothing but a peasant
This is clouding my vision
All these very precise mixtures
Of truths and of lies
No it's not a simple picture
Life's simple pleasures
Are wasted on my kind
Cuz to me it's far from bliss
It hurts to stay blind
I'm staring into shadows
Straining to see details
Obscured by the dark
I doubt I'll prevail
I more than fear I'll fail
But who can I tell
I'm all by myself
Because I'm playing with death

You got me playing with death
How's that for a trick
Give my dreams a kiss
And you, you're sick

I'm fearing for my soul
I think it's out of my control
And as I'm getting old
I realize that it got stole
I never agreed
To give up my personal judgment
To transfer my agency
to someone above me
But economists speak
And the businessmen listen
As long as top stays up top
There's nothing else missing
So I stay here
Acting rational
Supplying demand
For the mathematical
Yes, it's tyrannical
But who's gonna fight it
The phoenix is old
But who's gonna light it
I'm not the one
I'm nothing but a pawn
And I'm moving in line
Fom dusk until dawn
I support our wars
Despite lack of cause
I might not agree
But I follow our laws
I eat what they feed me
And I feed the greedy
What makes this land great
Is I obey freely


So tell me what to do
I'll do it if you want it
I'll follow all your orders
I am no longer running
It's very clear here
To whom victory will go
Cuz you got me obeying
Even when I don't know
The art of manipulation
Has it's tendrils all over me
But at this point it doesn't matter
You can enslave me more openly
My mind is shut off
My ego's somewhere lost in apathy
Cuz if I tried to think
I'd be somewhere lost in agony
Oh defeat is sweet with acceptance
My outlook got changed
When I gave up on vengeance
I'm borderline comatose
With the death of my hope
You got me playing with death
And I don't even know


9. Dis(A)pair

Ahd Child - Music

10. Blood of a Man

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

I'm the perfect kind of man
I'm the man without emotion
With the perfect devotion
To my goals, it can't be broken
I walk with a cocky stride
Head high, never looking down
At Mangled bodies on the ground
My step is real hard
And oh well if I walk on hearts
Man is the sum of his parts
And I've accepted that as truth
So there's nothing left to do
But pursue my own pleasures
Never desperate measures
Cuz I've never been desperate
If I want something bad
I find a way to go get
And fuck who's left
Life's the same thing as death
If you're not on my side
I consider you against
If you consider me heartless
I consider you correct
Cuz in this life that we live
Love don't bring happiness
It's just life then space then death
You choose what to fill the space with
We're entitled to no gifts
It's your decision how you live
I build no prisons from sentiment

I smell the blood of a man every time I put my nose to my hand
I smell the blood of a man, if I can't get what I want then I'll be damned

It was not an easy lesson
But I learned it
Took it, turned it
To a tool to remove
Ideals that serve no use
I no longer believe
In some mysterious
Mystical, it’s mythical
Now I’m realistic
The physical is real
Emotion’s just what we feel
But it lacks true existence
I refuse to give it credit
Wasted effort
Like planting seeds
For roses in a desert
This dry spell don't end
Until the day that we're dead
And I intend to live
Even at your own expense
You can't prevent me with your morals
They are weak, they mean nothing
You waste your time loving
With no gain in exchange
To give without receiving
Is to give in to waste
I waste not and want nothing
I've given up the unreachable
My remaining goals are feasible
And that makes me unbeatable
I leave beneath my feet
The remains of many people
Who believe in good and in evil


I got rid of foolish notions
Stopped considering the irrelevant
Why believe invisible forces
When I can't see the evidence
Any belief in heaven is
Just a sign of ignorance
They say it’s for the sinner men
But the cheaters seem to win
They say I'll pay the cost
After the day I cease to live
They say I should repent
Yeah, they say a lot of shit
I ask for no forgiveness
And I beg for no mercy
My body is for the worms
After the life I have deserts me
There is no grand design
Or defined divine purpose
Beliefs of that kind
Are ultimately worthless
We were born on the earth's surface
With nothing but our bodies
And due to loneliness and weakness
We imagine the godly
We craft false bonds
With what we call our fellow man
But I've never met a man
I'd really trust to call a friend
And that's how it should be
I'm only out for me
Only pure self interest
Can make me truly free


11. Hate

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

I give what I get
And I’ve been getting nothing pleasant
And I resent all these fools
Who have dreams of reaching heaven
We get nothing from beginning
And an end is just an ending
But in the meantime
I’ll be sure to get revenge in
I’m tired of the lies
And all the little white deceptions
I can’t beat them
So I’m no longer trying to stay separate
If you see ill will
Know that I am a reflection
Of the hateful world
The world that we live in
I am way past the point
Of selfish lack of compassion
I once had self love
But now even that is absent
There is one emotion left
I hold on to my anger
Any other feeling
Is just a pointless danger
I am danger to living
As I live and breathe my hatred
I’m not wasting anymore time
Trying to live a loving life
Today is the day
I embrace hate

I look love in the eye with no smile on my face
I am learning to hate
I’m not ready to die, I need to share this pain
I’m descending into hate
I don’t know mercy cuz it doesn’t know my name
I am embracing hate
Life is change but one thing stays the same

They say I made my bed
Now it’s the place for me to rest
I made my own life hurt
So I deserve what I get
Perhaps that’s the truth
I don’t even give a fuck
I could be reaping what I’m sowing
Or just living with bad luck
One thing is certain
I won’t be alone hurting
For once in my life
I have truly found a purpose
I’m gonna spread what I’m feeling
Make the whole world suffer
I tried to rise high
Now I’m pulling it all under
Feel the fire, smell the sulfur
I’ll make the whole world hurt
So the world can understand
What I’ve been feeling since my birth
The day I first walked on this earth
The human species was cursed
I am full of bad intentions
And I intend to spread them
To make every living man
Wish to be among the dead men
I have no mercy in my being
Not for the old or for the children
I intend to feed the cycle
So it spins to the end of ages
I am a servant
To the cycle of hatred


You see I’m a product of humanity
Of apathetic society
Suffering every day
But I no longer do it silently
My innocence was lost
Soon after I was born
My heart was broken
Walked on, ripped apart and torn
I once knew what love was
From my visions and my dreams
But I learned about hate
From my tears and from my screams
Hate is an ocean drowning streams
Leaving not a drop to drink
You can try to fight the current
But eventually you’ll sink
I was going down slow
But I gave up my resistance
I’m finally acknowledging
The truth of my existence
I am done being stupid
Seeing heart shaped illusions
I finally see clear
And the truth is so lucid
It burns away the clouds
There’s not ounce of doubt
I finally understand
What humanity’s about
Embrace the ugly feelings
There’s no point in fighting fate
When nothing else is left
You will still have hate


13. Toil And Trouble [Bonus Track]

Ahd Child - Music

14. Get My Gun [Paranoid Remix] [Bonus Track]

Ahd Child - Music, Vocals, Lyrics

I was looking out the window
I saw a little girl
She looked at me
And I saw pain in her eyes
She was full grown
I’m not sure how old
But she hardly had clothes
And it was cold
There were tears on her cheeks
That had started to freeze
Her body looked weak
And she was too mad to speak
She could barely stand
But she wanted to run
I wanted to help
But I needed a gun
I was looking out the window
And I saw the sun
It hurt my eyes
It made me cry
She made me see
How things could be
But I was all messed up
When I saw what was left
I was walking the streets
In the summertime heat
People asking for change
So people could eat
But if I give you cash
What about me?
I need my gun
To keep me free

I want to love
But I’m too mad to love
I want to help
But I’m too weak to help
I want to run
But I’m too scared to run
Go get my gun


It ain’t my decision
All these reflections
If I had my way
They would be gone
I just wanna live
My life in the matrix
Not complicated
Everything’s related
Linked, cascaded
So there’s not many options
Knock knock knocking
I try to take charge
Don’t know why I bother
Go get my gun
Don’t you ever wish
You could close your eyes
Don’t you ever wish
The days didn’t go by
Are you ever lost
In the ebb and the flow
Where’s my gun
I gotta go
Watch your step
When you’re stepping
Living’s an art of forgetting
I forgot where I’m heading
So how will I know when I’m done
Go get my gun


Leave me alone
I want no one approaching
My back’s to the wall
And my eyes are wide open
Any hopes that I had
Are shattered and broken
If I don’t stand guard
My soul will be stolen
Maybe I’m crazy
And this ain’t real
But someone explain
The way that feel
Explain these tears
And the pain and the fear
Or just get my gun
Protect me in my sleep
Keep me from evil
Don’t let no one hurt me
Though it’s happened before
I’m scared to my core
Got locks on my door
But still, get my gun
My demons are screaming
I’m reaching for Jesus
Now I believe
Cuz right now I need it
I’m going to pieces
I’ve got to run
. . . Gun

Chorus x2

15. Blood of a Man [Heart of Steel Remix] [Bonus Track]

Ahd Child - Music, Lyrics, Vocals

For lyrics, see the original version of Blood of a Man above


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