June 25, 2008

True Story

I should have written this down the morning after it happened, but i didn’t. I did my best to remember the conversation as accurately as possible. It’s all paraphrased, but you should be able to get a good picture of the night. Keep in mind – none of this is exaggerated. It really did happen this way.

A few weeks ago, after my usual Sunday partying, I went to a diner with some friends of mine. Afterwards, it was too late for a lady to be walking alone, so one of the other guys and I walked with another friend to a hotel where she was staying. When we got to the hotel, the three of us stood outside, continuing our conversation for a while. While we were talking, a random guy walked up to us with his hand out in a gesture of greeting.

Random Guy: Hi. How you doing?

The three of us stared at the guy for a moment. We were standing outside in the middle of the night and a guy none of us had ever seen before was standing there, greeting us like we were at a cocktail party. I looked him over. From his age and dress, I figured he was a drunk college student or recent grad. I warily shook his hand but I stayed silent, waiting to find out why he was approaching us. The other guy, my friend, shook his hand and gave him a funny look.

My Friend: Have you been drinking or are you really that friendly?
RG: No, I just moved back into town and I’m trying to meet some people.
MF: Ohhh, you’re back in town?
RG: Yeah, I just moved back.
MF: Yeah, I remember last time I saw you was at that party. That was a wild night! You were real drunk!
RG: Uhhhhh . . .
MF: You probably don’t even remember. Don’t worry – I won’t tell anyone about that night. You were so drunk!
RG: Uhhhh . . .
MF: So you’re back now?
RG: Yeah, I just moved back here. I have a place on 19th and Arch. So where you guys coming from?
MF: We were just hanging out with the guys. You just missed Rob and Dave. Mike moved out of town not long ago, yeah, he’s gone. I’ll tell all the guys you’re back.

Here, my friend used the names of the other people we had just been hanging out with. I changed the names cuz yall don’t need to know them. The girl and I were just standing there this whole time with no idea what to say. We were fighting hard not to laugh cuz we didn’t want to ruin the conversation. Random Guy was really confused. He had no idea who my friend was but my friend’s tone was so matter-of-fact that he wasn’t sure.

MF: Man, I remember that party! That was a crazy night! You left with that girl. I know you’re probably embarrassed. That’s just between us. It’s good to see you though.
RG: Yeah, I moved to Wisconsin for a while, now I’m back – right on 19th and Arch.

(I don’t remember if it was Wisconsin he was back from, but it was one of those middle of nowhere states)

RG: So what are you guys up to? Are there any parties going on now?

At this point, my friend and I discussed several parties taking place at a combination of real and made-up clubs in the area, giving him “directions” to each one.

RG: You guys wanna go party some more?
MF: No, I’m gonna go smoke some crack. You ever done crack?
RG: No, I just smoke weed?
MF: Weed? Nah, that’s too weak. Is it laced weed?
RG: No, just plain weed.
MF: You gotta lace it. PCP, heroin, cocaine, crack, that’s real drugs
RG: I’m right on 19th and Arch. you guys wanna hang out?
MF: You got crack?
RG: I’m trying to invite you guys to my place to smoke some weed.
MF: Nah, I’m gonna head home and smoke some crack.

Random guy walks off.


Leave a Comment