The other day, I told you about my experience selling electricity door to door. I learned a lot from that experience – a lot about how people operate and a lot about how hustlers operate. Here are some tips and rules of thumb that I picked up. They are applicable in any situation where someone approaches you unsolicited and tries to sell you something or sign you up for something. These are in no particular order.

• Do not buy/join on the spot. If someone approaches you about buying or joining something, ask them for a brochure and tell them you’ll read it over and make a decision later. If they tell you that they don’t have any literature and they try to push you to make a decision on the spot, that’s usually because they are worried that if you take time to think about it, you will refuse what they are offering. That’s a sure sign that you should investigate what they’re offering further and take time to consider it. If it’s worth buying or signing up for, it will be just as worth it tomorrow as it is today, so do it on your own time.
• Be protective of information and answers. If someone is trying to sell you something, they should be the ones giving you information, not the other way around. Do not give them your name or any personal info unless you specifically want them to use that information to sign you up or contact you. If you do give them information, make sure they explicitly tell you what they are going to do with that info. Do not give or show them bills or any other documents just because they asked.
• Control your eyes. Do not give the salesman control of your eyes and attention. If he’s showing you something, look at the whole paper, not just the part he points to. If he tries to move on, ask him to give you some time to look at what’s in front of you. The idea is that if he is pointing at something, you need to figure what he is pointing away from.
• Understand the implications. Understand the implications of signing/buying. Thoroughly question the salesman and read whatever documentation is available. You don’t want to sign up for a lower rate only to find out that you unknowingly changed electric companies.
• Don’t let things slip by. If the salesman quickly mentions an extra cost, condition or disadvantage, don’t let it slip by. Stop him and ask about it. Remember that this changes things. What seemed like a great deal, might be a rip-off now that the extra cost is part of the picture. Any new information of this sort should make you completely reevaluate the proposal.
• Understand the objective. An understanding of what the salesman’s role is can really help you maintain perspective of the situation. The salesman is trying to earn a commision. He is not worried about your best interests. He is not trying to show you his product’s bad side. It is up to you to watch out for your interests and uncover the disadvantages. Those should be your primary obectives. He’ll be sure to let you know all the good things, so you should be playing devil’s advocate.
• Read what you are signing. I know you’re supposed to do that all the time, but no one does. For example when buying a new cell phone, most people don’t read the entire contract, terms, and conditions before you sign. It’s not always practical, but in many cases, you already know the major points and the finer points aren’t that important at the moment. I stress reading what you sign here because this is not the normal situation. You don’t know any of the points unless you really want to trust the word of some random guy who sees you a s apossible commission. Really read it. Pay close attention to any fees, costs, and especially to terms of withdrawal. If you change your mind later, how much is it going to cost you? Also, look out for anything vague like unspecified “variable rates.”
• Set the pace. If at any point you feel rushed to make a decision, or even worse, if you feel like you’re being moved along with no chance to make decisions, stop!
• Know the bottom line. In the end if you decide to buy/sign on the spot (which you shouldnt – see the first tip) you should be able to answer two questions in a simple and clear way. What am I gaining? What am I losing. If you can’t answer these questions, if you’re answers seem like they are missing something, or if your answers seem too good to be true, then you are not ready to buy/sign.

I was feeling silly today, so I started writing a sad song. The humour in this is inspired by some of the lyrics I’ve heard in country songs.

[chorus]
All the great songs are love songs
Extremely sad love songs
So for love of my art
I broke my own heart
Now I write love songs
Extremely sad love songs
But I hate my art
Because it’s broken my heart

[verse 1]
Our past was so perfect
That’s the reason for my tears
Remembering hurts
And pain’s not changed by years
When you would smile, I would smile
Because your happiness was my joy
And my heart would start singing
Making a joyful noise
We argued almost never
And I wanted you for forever
To love and to cherish
To appreciate and treasure
I felt lucky to have met you
And to have you love me
And I thought our love would be
Eternal until infinity
But something inside of me
Took issue with my bliss
When my pen would hit paper
It would produce blank pages
I found I couldn’t write
Without despair, tears and rages
I need pain and impatience
Anger, frustration
I mean who’s heard of good art
Conceived in positive emotions
Happiness brings a trickle
But pain makes an ocean
I needed to get open
To get creative juices flowing
I had to write my poems
That’s why our hearts are broken

Several years ago, during my search for a summer job, I responded to an ad in an employment newspaper. I ended up working for a marketing company, selling electric service from door to door for a week. For seven days, I went from door to door trying to get people to switch from the major electric company in this area to a greener and “cheaper” provider. Without question, that was the absolute shadiest job I have ever had. When I did my own research, I found that for most people, the switch to a “cheaper” company would actually end up increasing their monthly bill, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that we were trained to manipulate people into making the switch. Every cloud has a silver lining – the worst part was also the best part. Long after I left that job, I retained the lessons learned. I don’t aim to be manipulative, but I value everything I learn about how people work and learning the techniques of manipulation has helped me avoid being manipulated. The basic idea was to get people to sign a contract without putting a lot of thought into it. In order to do that, we were supposed to play on their trust, use their reflexes, and encourage rashness.

We approached the door – knock knock/ding dong. “Hi I’m Ahd Child representing Green Mountain. I’m just registering all the PECO customers on this street for the flat rate they can get now.”

Our speech was pre-written and very calculated. As we began by saying who we were representing, we quickly pointed to our Green Mountain name badge in the binder we were holding. We said this part very quickly so that the person wouldn’t really register it. We wanted them to pay attention to the next part. In our binders, next to the Green Mountain badge, was a stack of PECO bills. As we said the word “PECO” we would point to the company name on the bill with our pen. A pen can control a person’s attention. Try this trick that they taught us during training. While you are talking to someone, reference and point to (with your pen) something on a paper. Once the person’s eyes are on the paper and as you continue to talk, move the pen to the four corners of the paper in an X pattern. The person’s eyes should follow your pen. We’d also slow down as we said the word “PECO.” The result was that they would see and hear “PECO” while barely noticing “Green Mountain.” We “plainly” stated that we worked for Green Mountain, but people always inevitably ended up thinking we worked for PECO – a company they knew and trusted.

If we had succeeded in getting electric bills from their neighbors, we’d leave those on top and using our pens and gestures, we’d draw attention to the name. If someone sees that their neighbors signed up, they’d be more inclined to go ahead and sign up. As we said “flat rate” we would hold our hand up and flat, illustrating our words. This brought the person’s eyes back up from our binders and made the words stick in their minds.

“You see what happened now is the government changed the law so everyone can get the new rate now easily.”

I don’t quite remember the speech word for word anymore, but this is pretty close to what it was – including the bad grammar. The bad grammar was purposely included to make sure the speech sounded natural. There was no mention that by getting these new rates they’d be switching electric companies.

“All I need is an old electric bill, if you could just go grab that for me.”

This was one of the most devious parts. At this point we break eye contact, looking past the person and into the house as we ask them to grab the bill. We’d also point into the house and then we immediately looked down into our binders, making sure not to resume eye contact. Our trainers called this “being assumptive.” If we were properly assumptive, even before the person realized what they were doing, they’d turn to grab the bill. Of course some people would think about it and stop, but that was only after they involuntarily started the motion. Try it yourself. Ask someone to get something for you that’s already in easy reach. As you say it, look and point at the object. Then, look away from the person. Your body language should show that you assumed that they are already doing what you asked them to do. Despite the fact that you could easily have grabbed the object yourself, the person will move to grab it. They may stop halfway there and tell you get it yourself, but if you do it right, there will be some sign of a reflexive reaction to your words.

I forget the rest of the speech, but once the bill was retrieved, we’d copy the person’s info (name, address, etc.) to our form as we talked. As we finished, we’d inform them that we just needed their signature to activate this new rate. We never asked them if they wanted to switch companies, we just filled out the form. Once again we were being assumptive. If, after all our efforts at manipulation, the person refused to sign, we’d leave – with their bill if possible. That way, when we went to the next house, we’d have a neighbor’s bill to point at, so even if the neighbor hadn’t signed up, it looked like they had. If they did sign, we informed them that the last thing they had to do was vocally confirm that they had been informed of all the conditions. We let them know that we were going to dial a number on our phones and somebody would ask them questions. We told them what the questions would be and how they should answer.

“. . . and they’ll ask you if you are aware that there will be a one-time charge of $5, and you say yes . . . “

(I think the charge was somewhere around $5, but I’m not sure.) This was the first time during the conversation that a start up charge would mentioned. At this point, we’d be wrapping things up, the person already signed the form, and they should be distracted by the phone call. They should feel too rushed to voice an objection to this small additional fee.

Her face is perfect
Her attitude is the worst
She is so ugly

A few times, after freestyling in cyphers, I’ve had people ask me “how do you do that?” I’ve also been asked that when I was out dancing to house music. (house music all night long – say what!) I’ve never really known how to answer that question, because the answer seems so complex and so simple at the same time. You just do it. You don’t need classes or lessons to learn how to rap or how to dance when you go out. You learn by doing it. That’s how I learned. When I first started dancing, I was a master of exactly one move – the two-step. When I look back at the first rap verses I wrote, I find them laughable. I’m glad my first freestyles were never recorded.

Of course you can learn by watching other people or sometimes there may be tips that can help you, but in the end, there is only one way to start – just do it.

I’m gonna pass on the side with least space when people move to make room for me to get by. I’ve seen lots of other people do it, so why can’t I? You know – you step to the left, opening up a huge space on your right side. The oncoming person veers away from the huge space on your right and attempts to squeeze between you and the wall on your left. That’s gonna be me. For increased effectivness, as I squeeze by, I’ll give you the why-the-hell-aren’t-you-moving-out-of-my-way glare.

Previously, I wrote about Burnlounge and their shady business model which looked suspiciously like a Quixtar pyramid scheme. It seems that after getting the unwanted attention of the FTC, Burnlounge decided it wasn’t worth it. They’ve changed their business model to “eliminate the network marketing portion.” Now instead of paying them for the opportunity to sell their music, you can create your own Burnlounge store for free. Of course you’d still be selling their music, but without the fee, the Burnrewards you get in return seem a little more enticing.

Of course there are still a number of for-pay services available, but they are a lot more straightforward now. You can still pay a monthly fee in order to get cash instead of Burnrewards, but you no longer get cash or rewards for convincing other people to sell stuff under you . . . though there is something about getting rewards for sales your “affiliates” make. I think the value of some of their for-pay services is still questionable, and the affiliate thing sounds a little pyramid-ish, but the new business model is definitely an improvement. Take a look at their frequently asked questions for more info the changes.

I’m gonna make up words that sound like they could be racial slurs and then use them. Everyone will think it’s directed at them. I’ll probably get beat up a lot.

“Get out of my way you dirty snik! You sniks are all alike. Ouch! Why’d you hit me?”