Planning my Path
Throughout the later years of my schooling, I often found myself in situations where my classmates and I were called upon to analyze literary and artistic works. Sometimes during the discussion that ensued and sometimes after it, the teacher always gave us the perspective of the more experienced, more educated critic. The teacher’s analysis always made a lot of sense to me – up to a point. Too often, I began asking myself how much of what the teacher is saying was actually in the work and how much of it was being read into the work. Sometimes the inferences were so obscure and deeply hidden that it seemed they had to be a result of over-analysis.
Fast forward to last night. I was listening to Reverse Psychology (which is very near completion), noting all the little things that need to be fixed and changed. I started reflecting on the amount of time and effort I spent making sure little details were just right. It’s a concept album, and I’m trying to make sure the whole album pushes the concept. I’m keeping the denouement constantly in view like Poe said I should. It got me to wondering – are people who listen to the album really going to notice and appreciate all those little details? I imagine (hope) that a good amount of the people who hear it will enjoy the music – it’s something to nod your head to – and some people will pay attention to the words and appreciate the meaning of each song. However, I’m guessing that few people will be paying enough attention to notice the significance of the ordering of the tracks – I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the right order to create an appropriate progression. Hardly anyone will note the contrast between the first and last tracks. Maybe not that many people will even get the connection between the title and the ideas on the CD.
Hmmmm . . . or maybe one day some people will be sitting around discussing Reverse Psychology and Person A will point out the little details. Maybe Person B will think Person A is over-analyzing and reading to much into the album. I can only hope . . .
Perspective is the compass of understanding. My change in perspective has me reconsidering all those moments when I thought my teachers were trying too hard; my change in perspective has lead me to a new understanding. At first when I was sitting through those classes, I wasn’t an artist at all. Even later on, after I had started writing poetry, I was only a dabbler. Now things are different. Now I look at my art as more than just a hobby, so I put more time into it. I put effort into making sure everything is the way it needs to be. Now, as I look back on those class discussions through the eyes of an artist, I understand – an artist who means to express anything agonizes over that expression, over making sure the picture is worth every one of the thousand words, over making sure the story is a deliberate trail leading to the perfect denouement. The greats must have agonized at least twice as much as the average artist. No wonder those details and connections my teachers found were so obscure and deeply hidden. The artists wanted to make sure that no matter how deeply one analyzed their works, the path to the denouement would be clear and well-marked.
I will continue to put the finishing touches on Reverse Psychology, and I will hope that my path is clear, intricate, and subtle enough that one day as someone walks along it toward my preplanned destination, he attributes its existence to the imaginations of ambitious academics.
