This is a repost from my Yahoo! 360 blog

Friday February 10, 2006

Have you ever been pulled over by the police for a relatively minor offense or had them knock on your door to tell you to turn down your music? I’ve been in a few situations like that, and one thing that always shocks me is the attitude of the police. More often than not, they seem to be needlessly forceful and abrasive. At times, I’m sure that approaching lawbreakers in that way is necessary in order to maintain a position of authority, but the fact is, not all lawbreakers are unreasonable criminals dead set against cooperating with law enforcement. Why is it that if you are being cooperative they continue to be so aggressive and disrespectful? The generally accepted answer to this question is that they are in love with their sense of power and must constantly remind themselves that they are above civilians.

What never made sense to me was the overwhelming number of “power-happy” cops out there. Is human nature so easily warped by power that such an overwhelming number of people in positions of power get intoxicated by it? I consider myself a realist when it comes to things like this, but I’m not able to take such a bleak view of human nature. This has been one of those problems that’s remained unresolved for me. Recently I had a breakthrough. It’s not that they’re power happy, they are prejudiced. And before you start making comments on my ability of stating the obvious, I don’t mean racist. In my experiences with “power happy” cops, they’ve always treated me (or the person they were interacting with when I was just an observer) as if I was being contrary and difficult even if I was doing my best to be cooperative. My theory now is that they act that way because they expect me to be contrary and difficult.

Have you ever seen one of the sitcoms where the guy who is used to getting turned down asks a girl out on a date? He’s so sure he’ll get a “no” that when she says “yes”, he continues to talk as if she said “no” for a few moments after she answers. That is exactly what is happening here. I can understand why they would expect me to act a certain way – I’m sure they deal with a lot of people who are difficult. They enter situations with such a high expectation for people to act that way that they become completely blind to how people actually are acting.

Now I’d like to stop right here to say that I am fully aware that this is not the case for all cops and even for the cops whose behavior this does help to explain, it is not the only factor. Many other kinds of prejudice (racism, classism, etc), moods, personalities, stress, etc. contributes to the ways they act. I am also not trying to absolve them of guilt. While it is understandable, such prejudice is very unacceptable in someone who is supposed to “protect and serve.” There are two main things to take from this theory. First, on a practical level, it can help when dealing with police and other authority figures – it always helps to have an understanding of a person’s motivations when interacting with them.

Secondly, this can be slightly abstracted from law enforcement. This habitual prejudice doesn’t just show up in police, it’s also evident in other government officials, customer service professionals, and in ourselves. It is part of a cycle of assumptions that makes everyone’s lives much more difficult. Person A expects a hard time from person B, so A approaches B with an attitude. B reacts badly to the attitude, reaffirming A’s prejudice and giving B a reason to have a prejudice for person A and others in similar positions. Rinse and repeat. As much as we like to talk about treating everyone equally and considering every person as an individual, we naturally tend to group people. (Here comes the realist) I believe that grouping and stereotyping people is inherent to human nature – we’re not going to end prejudice, ever. It’s as natural as hunger. What separates us from beasts is the fact that hunger doesn’t have to be our main or only motivation. The same holds true for prejudice. The more we are aware of our own prejudices and the different forms they take, the more we can make conscious decisions about them. Sometimes they are there for a reason – it helps to be prepared for what you expect to face, other times they are a hindrance. As with all things, a balance is required.

This is a repost from my Yahoo! 360 blog.

Thursday February 2, 2006

Phew! I thought I’d never get a chance to write something. I’ve been busy, but I finally have time.

Enough small talk. Or maybe too much small talk. Consider this an obituary. Out in the real world (as they call it once you leave college) it can be really hard to form new meaningful relationships with people. I’ve been fortunate in this area, mostly because of the (now closed) Crimson Moon coffee shop (pictured above) For those that don’t know, The Crimson Moon was a small independent coffee shop in Philadelphia. The Moon served as a comfortable spot to work, relax, talk, and meet people. I met just about all of the creative people I work and create with at the Moon or through other people who I met at the Moon. Sometimes I wonder, where would I be if I had never been there?

During its last days, one of the regulars filmed interviews of a selection of Crimson Moon regulars. I helped do some of the questioning. From the responses I got, I was reassured that it’s not just me – that little coffee shop helped shape the lives of many individuals. I remember one South Philly native saying something like “Where else could an oil truck driver who writes poetry feel at home?” That was the essence and beauty of The Moon. It fostered creativity and true diversity. Not the kind of diversity you see in college brochures (though it was frequented by many different races and nationalities.) Crimson Moon regulars came from all over the world and all walks of life. From executives to waiters. From college professors to high school drop outs.

Unfortunately, in the growing corporate nature of this country, there is less and less room for places like Crimson Room. Financially, it was a small mark on the Philadelphia landscape, but a landmark in many lives.

The website is still up here .